Day 3

Posted: April 23, 2012 in Travel
Tags: , ,

Oh, I know what you’re thinking:  What the heck happened to Days 1 and 2?!  Y’know, your ability to pose truly pithy questions never ceases to amaze me.

Day 1:  the day in which we embarked upon our adventure, ended with us staying in a campground in Lake St. Joseph, Michigan.  The very campground whose proprietor swore up, down, and sideways that not only did they have a WIFI connection, but it was very likely the most impressive WIFI connection in the known universe!  Now, I’ve been lied to before, and, in truth, I’ve always felt that if you’re gonna bullschitt someone, go big or go home, yo?  Apparently, the campground proprietor is of the same school of thought because the promised WIFI connection was soooo amazing as to be entirely non-existent.

As for the rest of Day 1, we left home bright and early, drove an hour and a half to the place where we bought the trailer, stooged around there for another hour while they checked out this ‘n’ that, then we crossed the border (at Sarnia)…here’s what that looked like (Bob wouldn’t let me photog the burly border guy while he was interrogating us about oranges and ham sammiches):

 (Ta Dah!  I finally figured out how to make the pictures bigger!)

Once we’d passed muster at the border, we were on our way through Michigan (Land of Many Deer & Raccoon Road-Whoopsies).  I have pictures, but they’re icky so, no, you can’t see them.  (I don’t really have any pictures.  I totally just made that up.)  The rest of Day 1 was just driving, and driving, and saying “eeewww!” every few miles or so, whenever a particularly gruesome animal cadaver would present itself.  Oh, and it started to rain late in the day so we (and by “we,” I mean “Bob”) had to set up for our first ever camp-out in the drizzly cold.  It stayed miserable and cold all night.  We very nearly froze to death because “we” (same “we” as before) didn’t feel we (the actual “we”) needed to waste propane on silly things like furnaces.

I’m loathe to cast aspersions (the hell I am!) here, but I will say that there was FROST (!!) on the fargin’ ceiling when we woke up in the morning.  (Note that I said “ceiling” and not “roof” there.)

What we learned on Day 1:

     – We should have bought a trailer with a bigger bathroom;

     – Michigan is the roadkill capital of the world;

     – Don’t believe everything campsite proprietors tell you.

Day 2:  We had to fire up the furnace to defrost the ceiling :/  While that was going on, we huddled up around the little electric heater and drank vast quantities of coffee (the error of which will present itself shortly).

Following a quick breakfast, “we” began to pack up in preparation for the hitting of the road.  One of the (many) downfalls of  being the spouse of a control-freak is that while he runs around like a complete lunatic, fretting and sweating and carrying on, I get to stand there looking like a knob.  Once the Control-Freak realizes that The Knob is no longer speaking to him, he stops and either asks (politely) or surmises on his own that The Knob would rather be helping.

As we are so new to this whole RVing business, a vigorous discussion, during which I pointed out that I had not come along on this trip to stand about like some demented turnip, was in order.  He (the aforementioned Control-Freak) parried with a feeble “but you’re such a decorative turnip…”  It was at that point I kicked him just below his left knee.  He limped off to raise the mumbly-outside-something-boy-stuff things (or whatever) and I took custody of securing the innards of our lovely trailer.

About a half-hour down the highway, the umpteen gallons of coffee previously imbibed in the name of warmth, began to percolate its way through.  Happily, we are carrying our own potty, so it’s merely a matter of finding a safe spot to pull off.  Unhappily, the frequency to do so was bordering on bizarre.

Speaking of bizarre, here are few shots of some things we saw during Day 2:

And I thought our trailer was out there….

Only in Iowa…*insert eye-roll here*

Backing up a bit, from Iowa to Western Illinois, what the heck is up with these barns with the little houses on top of them??  There are lots of these!  What’s the thinking here?

Oh, here’s some tragic news:  Apparently, when you fling your glasses onto the floor so that you can take a photog, and then only remember you’ve done so when you hear a strange crunching sound coming from your shoe…that’s a bad thing 😦

Here are some other things we learned on Day 2:

     – The number of potty stops is directly related and/or exponentially extrapolated by a factor of (um) many, times six, to the number of fluid ounces of coffee consumed during and/or subsequent to the freezing of one’s buttocks during the course of a non-furnace night.

     – There is no “turnip” in “team.”

     – John Wayne was born in Iowa.  I have no idea where he died.

And!!!  If learning all of that wasn’t enough (whew!), we pulled into our campsite, just west of Des Moines, Iowa, around 4:00 pm., and, after it rained/cleared/rained/cleared, there was this:


This particular park actually did have an internet connection but my laptop was behaving like a turnip.  I really had intended to get it fixed before we left (I also intended to get my hair done, but that’s another matter entirely).  The thing with my laptop is that I only ever use it when we’re on the road, which isn’t all that often, so I tend to forget that it’s messed up until times like now.  Lemme give you an example of  just how annoying this can be:  Yknow those lil Java updates you get all the time?  You just click the “okee-dokee” button and and POOF! it’s done!  When I click that button, I get a thing that says “this will take 9,324 minutes.”  And then it does.  Sigh.

I could spend all night telling you all of the many reasons why I hate my laptop, but that’d just be me ranting (again).

The bad news is that, even thought I’ve titled this post “Day 3,” I don’t actually have the energy right now to tell you about Day 3.  Sue me.  🙂

  1. DouglasMB says:

    you guys are awesome… and what is it with you and broken glasses?? remember the roller coaster?

  2. DouglasMB says:

    I’m not worried 🙂 I have a bottle of wine ready for your visit and gas in the boat ready to set you up for beautiful sunset pictures on the water… and I am sure all will be forgiven 😉 do I know how to kiss butt or what?

  3. I read your account of day three (to the second power), and I now have a feel for all those pioneers that trekked across the great west between truckstops. Have you cooked in the travel wagon much?

  4. JOANNE BORDEN says:

    I’m a little late getting to these, but as I expected, I’ve got sympathetic tears rolling down my cheeks as I stifle my chuckles. You are one funny lady, my friend!

  5. Reclussive says:

    I’m in contact with my lawyer…you will be receiving notification soon about the suit….this one made me feel like I was right along with you guys…..duh! which was her intent!…oh just shut up you! Anyway..chuckled several times throughout..and hey..some people scrape up some of that road meat and have themselves a freaking barbecue..I guess you haven’t morphed into full trailer trash yet…I’m anxious to see the transformation take place….:)……oh and I am so through with the word upon…..for some reason, and I don’t know why…it is irking me these days…upon this and upon that and upon the day we embarked upon our adventure……okay so it’s my problem…..I’ll expect a counter suit….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s