A Numb Bum and The Greatest Shot I Missed Completely

Posted: June 3, 2012 in Assorted Silliness, Photography, RV, Travel
Tags: , , , , , ,

Our first day on the road is finally (thankfully) over and hooboy! what a yawnfest it was!  We drove ohhhh, gotta be at least 200 hours today, mostly on the NY Interstate and mostly in that annoying drizzle that just won’t quite let you get the setting right on the wipers.  It was somewhere between can’t-see-schitt and that dragging rubbery groany sound that makes you wanna gnaw off your own arm.

Bob did all the driving because, as we all know, turnips aren’t not permitted to operate motor vehicles under any circumstances.  Therefore, my job, as Chief Turnip, was to read my book (Slow photog day?  Oh, honey, you bet your furry butt!):

A most excellent book so far, I might add.  I also did sudoku until I went blind.  I apologize, I don’t have a picture of that for you.

Once I had read a hearty chunk of my book and sudoku’d myself into early-onset dimentia, I occupied myself by playing with our cameras.  I used mine to try to get a shot of a truly artfully splatted bug on the windshield:

but, alas, my lens was too long so it didn’t work out.  I was too road-weary to contemplate changing it for one that would have worked on this project.  That was when I discovered some really fun settings on Bob’s little pocket-sized point-n-shoot.  Check this out – This setting is called “fat”:

  AND!!!  The really exciting news is the discovery of THIS setting (called – get this – “thin”):

I hereby decree from thence forward that THIS setting will be the only one permitted for use on photogs of me!!   Can I get an “amen” on that?

Later, as we were driving along, I happened to look up from my book (or whatever thumb-twiddly thing I was engrossed in) and saw an old run down scary-looking house standing in a field.  I had taken to talking to myself at this point and I muttered, “the hills have eyes…”  Bob, who is not a movie freak as I am, and is most definitely NOT a horror movie fan, said, “What did you say?”  I repeated what I said.  Then he said, “Weird…that’s the name of the campground we’re staying at tonight.”  I clutched at my chest and wheezed out a “w-w-w-what?!”  “Yeah,” he said, “Weird that you should say that…”  Now, in theory, Bob should never have even heard of that movie, so, in my horror, when I looked over at him and found him trying desperately not to laugh, attacked him viciously.   He is now sporting a book-sized dent in his forehead of which I am most unsympathetic.

Before I go put my jammies on, I have to tell you about the shot I missed…  Just before we arrived wherever it is we are (Somewhere near Springfield, Mass.), I spotted the most amazing thing.  You know those yellow diamond-shaped signs that have a picture of a deer leaping on them?  They usually say something witty like “deer crossing,” right?  But they don’t usually have an actual deer standing under them, do they?  Well this did!  I was so amazed that I sat there agape with my camera sitting useless  in my lap while I wondered aloud how often THAT happens… then… “Aw, crap!”  Waaaaay too late it occurred to me what an awesome shot that would have been.  Sigh…

  1. Laura Domela says:

    I just went through and read your whole blog with my morning coffee. (Glad I didn’t find it years from now!) Love your writing style! A lot!

    We’re on a month-long road trip right now, and generally spend about half time in our AS (27′). We also have a blog, though I don’t think it’s a funny as yours. I’m going to try to up my game though now. 🙂


  2. Do a lot of folks get smeared from leaping deers? We have yellow signs down here that show gators with human legs sticking out of their mouths.

    • nomaddness says:

      Dunno in terms of stats, but I lost my ’85 Crown Vic to a deer. The deer didn’t fare so well either, though. I can’t imagine living among critters that gnaw yer bits off. Scariest thing we have in Canada is snow.

  3. E says:

    Outstand series of books. It is also an HBO series. I highly recommend.

    • nomaddness says:

      I’m lovin’ it so far, E. Gonna see about the series when I’m done with the books. My kid’s been watching the series. I’m not sure where he stole it from 😛

  4. Shari says:

    Game of Thrones…finding it very hard to refrain from writing what keeps coming to mind. Just use your AS imagination. Hope today was a little more exciting for you. I see unfortunately the weather is not with you. Happy Trails!

  5. candy says:

    Amen to the camera setting!!
    I think our men must have brothers in another life. I, also, am not allowed to drive. Apparently, I’m only a good enough driver to have carted the boys around to endless sports practices and such…not good enough to cart hubby around. 😉 Our road trips are compounded by this….I cannot read with the radio on. If I read and I’m obviously not talking, he turns the radio on. Then I put the book away but after a whole lot of years of marriage, some times there just isn’t anything to talk about. So we then drive on in silence until I fall asleep and give passing drivers something to talk about with my mouth hanging open. I think you get the picture!!
    BTW….where are you headed?

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