Club-joining and Falling Down

Posted: March 27, 2013 in Assorted Silliness, RV, Travel

After a very silly day, reminiscent of Bob’s Smartie Box Kazoo Band days, we came to rest at a place called Florida Gateway RV Park in Jasper, FL.  It was supposed to be a park where we could get a discount just by whipping out one of our hefty handful of RV Club membership cards (more on this in a minute) but, apparently, that’s no longer the case.  Oh, there are memberships involved all right – their own about which you are required to be courted briefly before they let you stay even as a non-member.

Nons, as we are known, are required to wear a red wristband identifying us as such.  I’m not entirely clear on the thinking behind this, but we, of course, went rogue and eschewed their stupid wristbands.  Yep, rebels without a clue – that’s us!  In fact, after we’d gotten all set up and settled and fed, Bob decided to take a stroll around the park while I accosted my laptop and curse the god of internet connections.  Because he’d had a couple of beers and was feeling A. No pain; and B. Rebellious, he made for the door without the required red wristband.  I tossed him a walkie talkie and said, “Here, ya piss tank, in case the red wristband police arrest you and I hafta come bust you out.”

“10-4,” he said with his best rakish grin and off he went.

About fifteen minutes later, just as I was fixing to disembowel my computer for failure to comply, the walkie chirped to life:  “Piss Tank One to Base, over?”

“Roger, Piss Tank One, this is Base,” I replied after I’d mopped up the tea I’d just shot out of my nose.

“Base, this is Piss Tank One.  I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

I had no idea what to reply to that.  The point was moot, really, because I couldn’t have stopped laughing long enough to speak.

Regarding the above-mentioned membership cards, it seems that when you buy an RV, everyone insists that you join their club.  In fact, within seconds of agreeing to purchase our Airstream, we first got hugged (!!!) then asked to join some sort of Airstream Club.  Yeah, no.  I don’t really do clubs.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a snob…actually yeah, that’s probably it.  Anyhoo, it turns out that if you want to camp anywhere you have to belong to the KOA club, the Good Sam club, the Adventure American (or somesuch) club, and I forget the rest of them.  Some you get when you shop in certain camping stores.  Others come attached to magazine subscriptions.  It’s weird.  Why can’t I just have an RV and y’know, RV around on my own?


  1. Shari says:

    A picture here would have been awesome… Now that you belong to the club I guess you are on the mailing list now.

  2. christophercurmudgeon says:

    I’d never want to belong to any club that’d accept me as a member.

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